As I arranged a bouquet of flowers this morning, I thought – every flower belongs! I’d been wondering what to write about for my upcoming webinar on Imposter Syndrome, and there was the spark. Inspired!
We’re all points of light; all different flowers in the bouquet of life. Sounds a bit corny, and the main message is – we all belong – even when we feel like we don’t.
I was surprised to discover that offering my gifts – discoveries packaged into paintings and art programs – gave me a sense of belonging in my life.
Even more when I was in grave danger of losing it.
When you think you’re going to lose something, one way to react is to hold on tightly. That’s fear. Frozen or running away, not much enjoyable living happens, right?
Another way is to loosen one’s grip metaphorically speaking, however you’re able to do that naturally so you can return to the moment and listen inwardly.
I’ve had to do that many times. Aside from living, perhaps the most important part of recovering from life-threatening illness twice, was asking, listening and knowing I had more the give.
You’ll know quality questions give quality answers, and I’ll talk about those kinds of questions in my October webinar. When I first started asking and responding, I drew the answers! My creative responses were truly life-giving.
Of the hundreds of people I’ve worked with, everyone felt held back in some way. They’d tell me they wanted to feel more confident; they doubted their abilities believing they were not really creative – which is why they were coming to my ‘Reclaim your Creativity’ weekend.
Deep down, they had faith in finding their way back to the truth of their true creative nature. What an honour it’s been and continues to be.
We didn’t have a name for that bunch of human experiences – feeling scared fo being found out, thinking we’re not enough and not belonging – now commonly known as Imposter Syndrome.
A bouquet is a beautiful image to counter Imposter Syndrome. We all belong.
Remembering my worst experience of Imposter Syndrome, my throat tightens.
2002, an undergrad in the BVA program at art school, it was time for my presentation about my work. Everyone was there – all the teachers, students and post-grads. I had everything ready.
A few minutes into my presentation, my mind went blank. Completely blank. I scrambled to find the next thought but there was nothing there. Heart pounding, I could feel the colour drain from my face. The room became even more quiet, waiting.
Eventually, someone asked a question. I mumbled something I don’t remember now, full of self-loathing. How could I be so stupid?! Afterwards, I went to the bathroom and cried silently, ashamed.
I vowed this would NOT happen again. I would do what it takes to do better.
Since I couldn’t work harder to make it go away – my usual strategy – I sought help.
I received coaching and found my voice, both speaking and making. The changes propelled me on a path of self-development and training so I could help myself and later, my students, sharing gifts I didn’t know I had.
Five years later, I stood at the podium in the Lecture Theatre to deliver my first lecture. Afterwards, I marvelled at the ease of it.
One of the worst things about Imposter Syndrome is the regret.
What could have been if I’d been able to share my best?
What I didn’t get to share in my under-grad presentation, was that my project was based on an idea that came just after my Aunt’s death. I was thinking of her as I looked out at the early morning sky. Sunlight appeared to beam out sideways like an embrace, as if from her to me.
I had a sense of her life as a thread of golden light stretched out, fully given.
I wanted to re-create the feeling of being alive with this light, so I began making models with fabric activated by light and moving air, like prana, to draw and paint.
(I’ll post a link at the end so you can see some of the art I made at that time.)
The first model was a sail, which I later used in drawing class for my students. That teaching day, I was assessed. The feedback given by my teacher-coach Amanda Burrell started like this:
Suzanne is energetically the gentlest lecturer with whom I’ve had the pleasure of working. And ended with: She is simply brilliant.
Do you think that helped? Hell yeah!
There was magic in the air that day. Bringing that inspired project to my expectant, nervous students was exciting. Offering them an experience that demonstrated to them they could create something extraordinary, was fulfilment off the charts!
Have you noticed you feel more confident when inspired? Nothing can put out that fire, unless you let it. Not always easy, these two ways have helped me:
When we pour heart and soul into our work, and focus on who else it’s for, we can forget the worrying ‘small self’ – the part that wants us to stay in our comfort zone.
Secondly, we need to hear about our impact sometimes since we can’t know unless we’re told. So, it helps to have a coach or mentor who can help us discover our gifts, see our impact and report back.
Inspired by the impact of the help I’ve received, I trained in modalities that make it easier for my students to uncover and claim more of their gifts and goodness, so they can move beyond Imposter Syndrome and express way more of their creative potential in far less time than it took me!
If I could walk beside that terrified, horrified me, I’d put my arm around her shoulder and share what I’ve learned. And if you’ve had an experience like me, this is for you too:
“Regardless of what happened, you did your best. It’s not your fault that it didn’t work out as you wanted. Almost everyone has untrue subconscious conditioning and ideas about who they think they are. We don’t know what they are even, but we take them on as truth; when we have no or inadequate filters for what might or might not support our full expression of Life. It’s those subconscious ideas that are holding you back from expressing your potential. Take heart, because they can be undone and replaced by true realisations.
What’s really true? For a start, you are gifted in ways you’re not even aware of yet. Finding out is what people call ‘personal growth.’ What does that even mean? Becoming more who you truly are, is about claiming that stretch of golden light that is your Life. Let it embrace you. And you get to unfurl it like a sail so it can take you places you’ve not even dreamed of yet!”
If this speaks to you, even if you don’t consider yourself an artist, please come along to my next free Webinar x Conversation on this topic close to my heart:
On Being an Artist – Free of Imposter Syndrome
via ZOOM October 11th at 10am AEST, October 10 5pm PT and 8pm ET
Thank you so much for reading.
There’s a lot of news this time, so here’s a list of ways you might like to respond:
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Register for the Webinar x Conversation… for freedom of true creative expression!
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Look at the promised reel of my work from 2002 to recent on Canva
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Book a private chat with me about the retreat next March:
***Sacred Abstract: A Small-group Retreat***
6 days/nights March 25-31, 2026 Tumut, Bookings close November 30
2 places left – find out more during a private conversation: HERE!
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